one heavy breath and we could fall

06:24 pm

closing this lj off. have a new one - rabid_riceball

see you all there.

xx

06:10 pm - death becomes me

it's said that when you have a near death experience your life flashes before you. i experienced one today. i called bt to pay my bill and had to do it through that snobby bitchy monotone letshaveaspaceoffiveminutesbefore wesaythenextword voice. if i find her, i will rip out her voicebox and feed them to her fistborn son, then summon the plagues of egypt to kill and destroy everything and everyone she cares for.

Current Mood: murderous

06:33 pm - first day of work

just had my first day at norwich union. looks like a really good place to work plus the pay aint half bad. people are friendly and the coffee is free, its just wondering what one i appreciate more. going to be hard with limited fag breaks (only during my lunch hour) but i shall be fine. its kinda nice to be in the rat race - something i never thought i'd say. gives me something to do other than attend dull lectures and write essays i don't give a damn about. change is good. change is very good for the emma

Current Mood: kinda tired

06:01 pm - i need love

Get your own valentinr

love me.

04:31 pm

i plague you all

11:20 am - arty crap

The first five people to respond to this post (and follow instructions) will get some form of art, created by me. I make no guarantees about quality or type, but I will assure that I will give it good effort and that the art will be individual to you, so if you get a mixed CD or some sort of painting doodle, yours is the only one like it.

The only catch, of course is that to get art-ed you should extend this offer in your own journal as well.

11:28 am - off topic

i know everyones seen this but really, this was the reason the internet was invented

http://free.hostdepartment.com/j/jim_ps99/rainbow.html

10:56 am - moving

this is complicated.

after much discussion and stress me and graeme are getting a mortgage, actually, my parents are getting a mortgage on behalf of me and graeme. now because our lease ends at the beginning of august and it is unlikely that we'll get a mortgage by then, me and graeme are moving back to perth to live with my parents for a month. im quite glad of this. after much discussion with graeme i have decided to distance myself completely from someone, this has already started. a month seems a decent time without communication for this person to take the hint. graeme doesn't like him and i think its just wrong to speak to him anymore.

-messages for those i love and want to cuddle :p-

Valalaium - i will come and get the letters i promise! we will have to meet up and go for coffee, missed you so much

nowave - since you're moving to glenrothes, we probably wont see a lot of each other, but ill call and annoy you and drag you to cage and to our flat when we come back from perth

malix, dakkie, lelo, ro, lewis - i shall still have msn and will keep in touch x keep smiling and calling graeme gayram.. i think its funny even if he doesn't :p

this will be my last post for a while, will be posting on myspace and dA.

peace

Current Mood: blank

10:22 am - I'm so not pleased

Current Mood: contemplative

10:18 pm - lightsaber attack

because my msn is on my parents computer and mine, an accident has occured. my father kindly deleted my darkeclipse account. to reach me now please add iwantabiscuit@hotmail.co.uk to your msn and i'll hopefully see you soon x

going to kill my father. hard. with a lightsaber.

Current Mood: angry

08:41 am

Last night we finally got together with one of our friends we hadn't spoken to for too long, twas good. seemed like we had never really been angry with each other, just like old times, even with the homosexual implications he seems to bring along with him to every gathering. so yay.

he also helped us get a music downloady thing on the computer, so i'm going crazy on this. just to prove what a big geek i am, the first song i downloaded was Anthony Stewart Head and James Marsters - End Game. Tis amazing.

my one person can make me peaceful and complete. its perfect.

Current Mood: geeky

01:41 pm - coming together

things are really coming together for the wedding. although we had to change the date, things are on track. i have my bridesmaids, graeme has his best man, got a plan of all the stuff we are going to get and a vague budget, also found cars to take us there.. gorgeous old fashioned motor thingys, white and lovely.. ok i don't know the exact name of the car but its pretty. apart from the fact i have to go to hospital for tests im alright ^^ going back to work after being ill *was in hospital monday, doctors tuesday and today (for tests) and planning to get a mortgage for this august. theres an opening at my work, going to see if graeme can get in. seemingly while i was off two people quit. not sure if they were full timers or not, but it would be fun to see.

there is someone we don't really speak to now, just want to say i hope he is doing alright. if he needs anything, he knows to how to get hold of us. congratulations on getting into college, its what you really wanted and we're so happy for you x

meeting a friend for coffee tomorrow, really looking forward to that too ^^.

dammit i have to work tonight -_- ah well, i better go have to leave for work in two hours o.o might catch up on some old webcomics now that we have broadband *kisses computer*

Current Mood: chipper

04:34 pm

going to see Dylan Moran in may!!!can't wait, cant believe he is performing in perth... i might have to be restrained from jumping up on stage and hugging his very drunk irish self. w00t!

04:30 pm

has been so long since i've been here don't know where to start. just started a new job in a call centre, pays 5.50 an hour which aint that bad and its a great laugh. everyone there is so nice its actually fun to work there, and to think i was dreading it. exams are coming up which isn't so fun, but ive read the exam paper we are going to get so im sorted ^^ graeme is trying to get a new job as client logic have been pissing around, not surprising, but he might be getting to work with me so that will be good. just getting a phone line installed today, sky tv tomorrow and broadband next thursday so yay, but very expensive and we have just got council tax and tv licence bills through so we have no money whatsoever. we've actually run out of food for the week... im sure we have soup in the cupboard o.O so busy, hardly have time to sleep but life is pretty great so i cant complain :)

10:53 am - wedding planners

we have just started planning the wedding. thinking of date 1st August '07... Lammas ^^ some say its the 31st of July, my books tell me its the first of aug... so ah well. Got our guest list sorted out, i have my three bridesmaids... calling two of them tonight to get them. lol.. they cannot escape the puffyness of meringue dresses to make me feel slim. getting my two cousins, holly and antonia, and Graemes cousin Leanne. Graeme is sorting out his best man this week, last night we had a long chat about the best man thing and he's going for someone he has been friends for for a long time. speaking of friends i have been kind of burnt this weekend. makes you realise who your real friends are. im guessing that we just cant be bothered anymore. thats the feeling on this side anyway

Current Mood: dorky

05:50 pm - eep

Outcast Genius 82 % Nerd, 86% Geek, 56% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in all three, earning you the title of: Outcast Genius. Outcast geniuses usually are bright enough to understand what society wants of them, and they just don't care! They are highly intelligent and passionate about the things they know are *truly* important in the world. Typically, this does not include sports, cars or make-up, but it can on occassion (and if it does then they know more than all of their friends combined in that subject). Outcast geniuses can be very lonely, due to their being outcast from most normal groups and too smart for the room among many other types of dorks and geeks, but they can also be the types to eventually rule the world, ala Bill Gates, the prototypical Outcast Genius. Congratulations! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Professional Wrestling Love & Sexuality America/Politics Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

02:17 pm

had a rough week, things are sorting themselves out thought. one of my flatmates and best friends had some relationship problems. i hate it when relationships go all shitty but they are back together now and everything is all happy and shiny. regardless of differences they are really good together and wish them all the happiness. my friend laurie is still in prison but should be getting out in 11 days. valerie visits him as often as she can, which is amazing. lol another couple all perfect and shit. then theres me and graeme. we have now been going out for 6 months. time really flies. i cannot believe that we are engaged and due to get married 2007. it seems unreal sometimes, i know i can be a moody bitch and not the nicest of people but i'm really lucky to have him. in other words he gives me the warm fuzzies. ^^ im writing this drunk, which is why im going to be honest with everything. it annoys me when people who have never met have differences. i hate the fact that i sometimes judge people without getting to know them, merely on what i've heard and seen. this makes me seem shallow, which i know i'm not, but it still gives the impression. i couldn't care less if people hate me, for whatever the hell i've done, but i wish i could get the chance to make them see im not what they believe. basically finished uni for the semester now, last english essay handed in today, yeah it was shit, but it'll make me pass. i'm better at poetry than novels anyway. going to head home, chill out and listen to music, wait for graeme to come home and just hold him. i need it. i love him so much, im glad all problems are sorted with other couples i know. this isn't the time of year to be angry or away from each other. it just sucks.

sorry for being honest. it doesn't suit me much

Current Mood: drunk

02:59 pm - build me up buttercup

not posted for a while, guess im just in the mood to. one of my friends got sent to jail yesterday through no real fault of his own. at least the sentance is only for three weeks until his court case but it shows how broken the system is. i've been really bitchy to graeme recently, i'm thinking its because i've been constantly ill for the last semester and i get a bit grumpy when i'm ill. it makes me feel useless. christmas is on our doorstep...yes yes i know its a month away but its snowing slightly in dundee and its perty. already have an idea of what to get graeme, well he hinted, and i suck at shopping with guys, its funny watching people get flustered about what to get others, just cant wait to wake up on christmas morning in his arms. did i mention i have the perfect relationship. ^^

Current Mood: blah

10:02 am - broken bottles

take a photo of me above, it hides everything about me. i want to lie about who i am sometimes, it hurts him so badly when i think i'm becoming me. he wants me back, i want to get myself back. im going on thursday to try and fix that. i would do anything for him, take pills to make me better, anything. its crazy when your heart is so revealed that you can do anything and not worry about his or her reaction. but i do, i just want to be perfect for him. make him happy, make him run home every night just to see me. i know i do, and i know i can, and i know that together we can defeat everything. i want to quit university, i'm unhappy. i want to run away with him, where no one could find us. i know we could make it, but he's happy. im happy he's happy and i'll stay right where i am, do exactly what i'm doing, for both of us. he's right. there are too many things to keep us where we are. for fucks sake we're getting married in less that two years *dances* we have great friends/flatmates, who although i know i annoy quite a bit with my remarks i love dearly, and we're getting a flat together next year. i wake up to the most perfect man in the world every single morning and fall asleep in his arms every night. why am i so immature that i can think that somehow my life is damaged. he is all i live for and i'll keep smiling, for him.

Current Mood: weird

02:25 pm

i want to steal your heart, hide it in a russian doll and keep it safe with me always. i promise i'll look after it. no one would ever suspect that most important thing to me was hidden in a russian doll. would they?